Never The Right Time
by Violetcookies31
Summary: I love him more than anything, but it seems like no matter what I do, it's never the right time for us.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** None of the characters (aside from Sofia) are mine. Sadly neither is Bleach.

* * *

 **(Sofia)**

"So when he took off his shirt I was like, girl, yass!" I said to Orihime.

"Can you shut up?"

I rolled my eyes, "Nobody's talking to you, Renji." He turned back around, murmuring something under his breath.

Yeah, it's true, I had met several other guys over the last few months, but I had zero interest in them. The only one I wanted was the redhead sitting in front of me. We had met nearly a year ago, and I have to admit, from day one, he took my breath away. Truth be told, the only real reason I always talk about guys is to try and get him jealous.

* * *

 **(Sofia)**

"Do you need help with that?"

I glanced behind me, "Oh, Izuru, hey!"

He smiled and looked at the box in my hands, "That looks really heavy. Where are you heading?"

I looked at my watch, "I was supposed to be at Urahara's like...20 minutes ago."

Without another word he grabbed the large box and walked ahead of me, "I'll walk you there."

Smiling I ran after him, "Thank you so much!"

We arrived at the shop nearly ten minutes later, "Well, thank you, again. I can take it from here."

I reached for the box but he just shook his head, "Where do you need me to put it?"

A smile quickly spread on my face. "It should be fine if you just put it here, Urahara can move it wherever he wants." He placed it back on the ground and turned around to leave, "Wait, Izuru."

"Yeah?"

I ran up to him and hugged him, "I don't know what I would do without you." He smiled a bit and returned the hug.

We stayed for a few moment until we heard someone clearing their throat, "Well, would you look at that?" We both turned around, that's when I noticed Renji standing besides Urahara. Izuru excused himself, saying he had to go back to work, but all my attention was focused on the red head.

"Don't you have work to do as well?"

He glared at me, "Well, not really. All I had to do was bring this here." He didn't say anything else, instead he turned around and stomped off in the other direction. "What's his problem?"

Unsurprisingly, all Urahara did was smirk, "You should really go after him."

* * *

 **(Sofia)**

"Oh, god. I really needed this," I said to Rangiku. I had spent the last few weeks on assignment, which resulted in a few injuries, but nothing too serious. Now as I sat down in the bar, I spotted the person I had missed the most. "Who is that?" Rangiku glanced at when I was pointing, and she frowned a bit.

"I'm not sure. All I can tell you is that he's been hanging out with her a lot." The brunette Renji was talking to laughed, and even from here I could tell she was beautiful. I turned my head at the sight, of course Renji would go for someone like her, who wouldn't?

 **(Few hours later)**

"How much did you miss me?" Izuru turned around, a surprised look on his face.

"Sofia...when did you get back?" I laughed a bit, "A couple hours ago." I sat down next to him and we started talking. It had always been so easy for us to talk about everything, that was one of the things I loved about our friendship.

We were so lost in conversation that I lost track of time. I was about to call it a night but then I saw both Renji and the girl together once again. Izuru noticed the change because he asked what was wrong, "It's nothing." I stopped for a second, taking a few moments to really look at him. In reality he wasn't bad looking, I just had never taken time to look at other men. "Any girl would be lucky to have you."

A blush spread on his face, "Huh?" I got closer to him until our noses were touching. "Uh..Sofia, what are you-" I placed my finger up, silencing him.

"Shh. Don't say anything." I knew this was wrong, Izuru had always been such a great friend to me, he didn't deserve this, but then I heard her voice again, and I completely forgot why I shouldn't live my life as well. Grabbing his head gently I placed a kiss on his lips. At this point his face was completely red, but he didn't stop me. "Let's go somewhere else." I turned around to leave and he followed close behind me.

 **(Next day)**

"So?" I glanced at Rangiku.

"So, what?"

She gave me a playful glare, "Oh please. Everyone's already heard about you and Izuru. Come on, spill!"

Turning my attention back to my document I answered, "Nothing happened."

Of course she didn't let it go, instead she continued talking, "He was really upset after you left."

Noticing the serious tone in her voice I looked up, "What are you talking about?"

We heard Captain Hitsugaya yelling for her, but before leaving she turned around and said, "I don't know what happened between the two of you, but you should really talk to him."

The rest of the day went by quick, I tried my best to ignore the words Rangiku told me and focus instead on my work.

On my way home, as I was passing the 4th division barracks I felt a hand grabbing my wrist. "What the hell!?" I turned back, noticing who was behind me. "Renji, what are you doing?" He didn't say a word as he kept dragging me in the direction I was walking. A few minutes later, we were standing outside my apartment. "You're hurting me." He quickly let go as if he had just now realized what he was doing.

"Why?"

"Why, what? I don't know what you're talking about." He turned his back around, "Renji, I really don't know what you're talking about." When he finally turned around, his eyes had a look I had never seen in them before.

"Why did you do that?"

It finally clicked, "Renji...I didn't do anything. We stopped before it got to anything, I promise." For a second all he did was look at me, as if trying to figure out if I was lying or not. He reached out and grabbed by hand, which by now had a red, mark forming, but he stopped as soon as we heard a voice behind us, "I-uh, I didn't mean to interrupt you two…" Renji looked behind me, the same angry look he had came back, and he backed away without another word.


	2. Chapter 2

**(2 months later)**

 **(Sofia)**

"Captain, I'm not sure I can do this."

He smiled, "Yes you can. I've already talked to the head captain, he agrees with me, you need to take a break from all of this."

 **(Renji)**

"What's going on?"

Nanao turned around, "I'm not sure, both Captain Shunsui and Captain Ukitake have been inside with Sofia for the last hour. All I know is that they had just come from a meeting with the head captain and they almost immediately locked themselves in there."

I frowned, "Sofia? She's in there?"

Nanao nodded, "I'm guessing it can't be good. Well, whatever it is, I'm sure they'll figure it out. I have to give Captain Hitsugaya some reports, I'll see you around."

 **(Sofia)**

"You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?" I looked between the two captains, who only gave a small smile. "Fine, when do I leave?"

* * *

 **(Sofia)**

"Ichigo! How have you been?"

He turned around, "Sofia, wow, I haven't seen you in a while."

I laughed, hugging him tightly, "I missed you."

We went to the park and began to catch up, "So, anything new with you?"

He shook his head, "Nothing, what about you?"

"Nothing, really." He gave me a look, "What?" He continued to stare at me for a second, "Okay, fine, there's a mission. The head captain thinks it would be a good idea for me to do it."

He reached for my hand, "What about you? What do you want?"

Smiling softly I squeezed his hand back, "I'm not sure. I mean, if I go, I can get away from all of...this."

"But?"

I laughed at how he always knew what I was thinking, "I'm scared. I've never done a mission like this on my own before. What if, I don't know, what if I don't make it back?"

A frown replaced his worried look, "How dangerous is this mission?"

I sighed before answering, "The head captain is not sending any back up with me, so I'm guessing it's not that bad."

We continued to talk for a few more minutes until Orihime and Rangiku walked up to us. Somehow Rangiku found out about my mission and she insisted we have a goodbye party for me. "Look, Rangiku, I'm really happy you want to throw a party for me, but I really have some important things to do."

She kept insisting, "Come on, you don't even have to stay for all of it. And, it will be the perfect opportunity to talk to Renji." She convinced me the moment she brought up his name.

 **(Hours later)**

"I really don't want to go," I said to Ichigo.

He looked at me over his shoulder, "Yeah, neither do I." After we had left the park, we went to his house. I had spent a lot of time there, so it was no surprise some of my clothes had made their way to his house. "What?" I asked, he was making a weird face.

"I talked to Renji the other day. He seemed a little bit off."

I looked away, "Oh." A few seconds later he was standing in front of me.

"Sofia, what's going on? Did something happen with you two?" I was hesitating whether to tell him or not, luckily his sister walked into the room, asking about a problem in her homework.

Ichigo had gone to the other room to help his sister and I was left to wonder what was going on with Renji. There had been some times where he would act almost as if he cared about me, but then he would start acting cold again. But now as I sat there, I recalled the way he had looked that night.

"Sofia?"

"Huh?"

Ichigo was standing over me with a worried look on his face, "I asked if you were ready to go."

I smiled, "Yeah, sorry about that. I was just thinking about some things." I grabbed my sweater and walked to the door, "You coming or what?"

* * *

 **(Sofia)**

"Sofia! You made it!" Rangiku yelled as she came up to me and gave me a big hug.

"Uh, yeah..." She rambled on a bit before she walked off with some of the guys.

Ichigo was nowhere to be seen so I grabbed a bottle and walked outside. I would be leaving tomorrow morning but I already knew I wouldn't be able to sleep, even if I tried. I was nearly halfway done with the bottle when I felt someone standing behind me, when I turned around I saw the man who could make my heart beat a thousand times faster.

"Renji..." He looked at me for a second before coming around the bench and sitting with me. "Um, wow, well, you look nice." I said, trying to make the silence a bit less awkward.

"Are you really doing it?"

I sighed, "Yeah."

He nodded a bit, "When do you leave?"

I looked at him, "Tomorrow morning."

His eyes widened just a bit, "Tomorrow?" I looked at the drink in my hand, "Yeah, the head captain thinks that it's better to leave now."

"How long are you going to be gone for?"

I took a drink before answering him, "I'm not sure."

We sat in silence for a few minutes before he spoke up again, "I don't want you to go."

I looked at him, confused, "What do you mean?"

"I said, I don't want you to go."

I laughed a bit, "Who would have thought. You're actually worried about me."

He stood up, "I'm serious. Don't go."

I put the bottle down, "Renji, there's nothing I can do about it now. I've already spoken to the head captain. He agreed to give me this opportunity. Do you understand what this means to me?"

He grabbed my hand, "Your life means more than whatever stupid thing you're going to do."

I stood up as well, getting angry, "Don't you dare come here and tell me what I should and shouldn't do."

He let go of my hand, "So you're telling me that you want to die? Is that it?" He turned his back on me.

I went behind him and hugged him, "Renji, you have to understand."

"Understand what?"

He turned around, "I need time away from all of this. Maybe when I come back we can figure this out. But you can't tell me you don't need some time off as well." He grabbed my hand again, intertwining our fingers together.

"What if you don't come back?"

"Let's not think about it, okay?" He nodded, leaning in a little closer until our noses were touching.

"Nothing I do will change your mind, will it?"

I reached out to touch his face, "Renji, please. Not now." He looked miserable, but nodded nonetheless. As soon as our lips touched, everything else faded to the background. It didn't matter if this was just a dream, hell, it didn't even matter that I could possibly die. All I cared about in that moment was him.

* * *

 **(Sofia)**

I stared at the gorgeous man in the bed. Last night we had left the party, he took me to his house, where we talked about so many things. Eventually we fell asleep, but as I took a closer look at him I realize what a bad idea this was. "Maybe it's better like this," I whispered, getting ready to leave. Before I left, I placed a kiss on his forehead, and a letter by his hand.

 **(3rd person POV)**

When Renji finally woke up, the first thing he did was look to where Sofia had fallen asleep. "She's gone..." A sigh escaped his lips as he realized that he might never get a chance to hold her again. Before he could think about it too much, his hand touched an envelope. He carefully grabbed it, it was a letter from Sofia.

The letter said:

 _Dear Renji,_

 _Last night when you asked about my mission, I lied. I know I shouldn't have done it, but it's too late now. Head Captain asked me to go on a mission that would serve as a spy. There really isn't much to do, aside from tracking Aizen's every move. I don't know how long I will be gone, but just in case I don't make it back alive-_

Renji's hand turned into a fist when he read those words.

 _-I want to tell you something. I love you. I love you so much, and I really do regret not telling you sooner. Today, when I woke up, I saw you laying next to me, and I realized that this is what I want in life. I want you. But it seems like no matter how hard we try to make it work, it just never is the right time for us._

 _Today I walked away from you, and I hope you can forgive me for it. Please don't ever forget about me._

 _Love, Sofia._

* * *

 **Author's note:** I honestly thought this story was going to be only one small chapter. But as you can see, it is going to be a tiny bit longer. There will be a part two, called "Not letting you go," or something like that. I'm still working on that, but please feel free to let me know what you guys thought of this! :)


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